


Burn your heart out

by sss



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, No Mary, weird science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 13:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1268719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sss/pseuds/sss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know much. I know I'm John Watson and this is Baker Street where we live. The we means Sherlock and I.<br/>And I make Sherlock sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding out

**Author's Note:**

> Change of POVs, angst, Moriarty

I don't know much. I know I'm John Watson and this is Baker Street where we live. The we means Sherlock and I.  
And I make Sherlock sad.

I understand almost nothing of the newspapers Sherlock keeps bringing to our breakfast table. The words seem gibberish to me and ideas have no context.

This makes me angry and that makes Sherlock sad, again.

Sometimes, when I catch him looking at me, he seems so lost, so anguished. I would love to make it stop.

Mrs. Hudson keeps bringing us groceries because Sherlock doesn't leave the house, at all. Not even when people call him.

I try to listen to his calls but he's very tight lipped about them and keeps saying "not until I've corrected this".


	2. Trial and error

I keep trying to spend my time with Sherlock but he says he's on a tight schedule and I can't help him.  
He has a set of glass cylinders, strange liquids and a lot of machines on; while watching him I keep thinking about mages and potions. When I say that to him he laughs tiredly and says that this time he wishes he was a warlock instead of Sherlock so he "could undo this". When I try to ask him "undo what" he grimaces and ask me to go, again.  
When I'm leaving, I hear him muttering something about "flowers for Algernon"


	3. Revelations

I watch Sherlock, I watch him constantly. He seems to draw my eyes to him. I want to touch him too and I tell him that.   
"I want to kiss you."   
He stops what he's doing and for a while I think he might cry.   
"John, you...don't really want to do that."   
"No, I really do. I want to touch you, taste you, take you to bed" I say and reach out to grab him by the arm.   
He reacts like the touch burns him and pushes me away from him.   
"NO ! I won't let you do this ! I won't let him defile...this too !"   
"What are you talking Sherlock ? Who, defile what ? I just want you, I've always wanted you !"  
"Moriarty...he did something to you. When I finally found you after the kidnapping, you seemed to be fine..but soon I started noticing something wasn't right. You started forgetting medical terms, and we blamed it on the stress first. Then you couldn't handle going to the store by yourself, and I'm not talking about the pin and chip machine this time. Reading the labels or deciding what to pick up made you distressed. Then I started to worry. Finally I got you to promise to visit Barts and Molly, we hijacked the MRI machine for us.  
The results were...not good. It seems that Moriarty used some concoction of his own design that made you....less intelligent...and the condition is degenerative. I've been trying since to find an antidote or a way to reverse the effect."  
I listen to Sherlock, his voice breaks at the end of the speech. I don't believe what I'm hearing.  
"But I feel fine ! I don't think there's anything wrong with me ! Please, let me hold you..."  
"John ! That is one sure way knowing you are not fine or you..this isn't us..he's made you more tactile, more uninhibited..I can't let you do this, when I get you back, and I WILL get you back, you are going to hate what he did to you and I won't be one more problem on your list." Sherlock has started to pace around while stating this.  
"I don't understand anything anymore ! I feel I should be helping you but I don't know how and you say I'm stupid and I'm no use to anybody -" he stops me by taking a hold of my shoulders and almost shaking me.  
"Stop it now John, stop immediately ! Don't ever call yourself stupid or useless. You're sick now, it's all Moriartys fault but we will strive through this, I promise. And he will pay for this."  
I realise how close we finally are and reach out to kiss him despite all he just told me. I feel like kissing him would make any situation better anyway.

He looks stricken and kisses me back at first but then pulls away and closes his eyes. Just then I notice he has taken his mobile out of his pocket and hits send for a text that was ready on it.  
Later on I find out it said "It has started, come quick. Please."


End file.
